Laula's Weblog

Facts of life

Being zen martie 30, 2013

Filed under: bizar,viata mea..putin dezvaluita — Laura - Machiaj Oradea @ 1:29 AM
Tags: , , , , , , has been like 3 years since my last „confession”.. Didn’t feel like writing or all. What changed? Maybe my priorities in life. Maybe nothing has changed. Even i don’t know..

What i know is that i am trying to be a better person, find my inner peace, balance and become „zen”. God knows it’s hard..i loose it sometimes but then, I’m looking at the bigger picture and i get back on my track.

And now i realize that i must let go of so much anger and frustrations so i can live a peaceful life. A peaceful inner life. I refuse from now on to hate people i once loved and embrace other feelings for them. I cannot say for sure what kind of feelings they are..of regret, of missing them, maybe.. Can be even friendship again? Not sure..maybe friendship is too much to start can be a simple „hello” maybe? can be..At least from my side..

That is a strange feeling in there..contradicts much.. Can be the sign of my weakness  or of my strength letting go of almost 5 years of hatred, disgust and rage, that i often reminded myself in those years. But now, it’s like i don’t remember the bad, but the nicest and funniest memories of all.. I guess I’m just as retarded as always :)) or the person that once chose pride and honor over friendship. A 14 year old friendship..

Truth be told..i miss having a bff, but now, the more i love my life as it is now, having everything i ever dreamed of, except a bff.  NP – life goes on without them..